if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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