Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
