Can i not drive my cunt home
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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