What a fucking waste of an outfit
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
