party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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