I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
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he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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