Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
