PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
