3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
