I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
