I am puke
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
