Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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