i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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