Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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