Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
