I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
