I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
