I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
