I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize