She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
