it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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