she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
