I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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