I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
try to milk me bitch
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize