i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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