It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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