I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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