there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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