no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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