im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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