i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
