Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
