How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize