Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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