I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
