my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
