just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
