Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
