Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
