She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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