i jhust puked up my retainher.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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