One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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