Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
ok first of all what the fuck
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
