i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
