anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
