Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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