we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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