honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dignity is for republicans.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
