i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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