Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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