Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
