it wasn't lemon gatorade
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
