She announced her abortion via fbk
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
