They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
