I didn't shave. On purpose
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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