Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize